Kids and Career: The Best of Both Worlds

Anne Hathaway at
The Odyssey premiere

Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey was released this summer, and the press tour that followed was filled with outfits nothing short of glamorous. What I noticed, however, was not the fashion nor the film (though I need to watch it at some point), but Anne Hathaway's pregnancy. This might seem an odd thing to pay attention to, but throughout the tour, Hathaway consistently appeared in outfits that showcased her bump, and I admire her for it. While pregnant, she continues to show up for her goals and ambitions.

Many women, including myself, have felt pressure to abandon their career pursuits in exchange for motherhood. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom. Motherhood is a miraculous gift, and if your family has the means to be a single-income household, getting to spend more time making a home and raising children is a wonderful thing. However, there is also nothing wrong with women desiring to have a career, or to balance both careers and children. The two are not mutually exclusive. 

Hannah Neeleman

In the modern day and age, many people frown at motherhood, particularly the idea of motherhood which is presented in the "trad wife" movement. I think specifically of Hannah Neeleman's Ballerina Farm. Neeleman is a Mormon mother of nine who is raising her children on a farm and spends much of her time working to maintain her business and schooling her children. To achieve this lifestyle, however, Neeleman sacrificed her goals of becoming a professional ballerina in New York City. Many people point to this as evidence that you cannot have both motherhood and a career. However, while currently raising her nine children, Neeleman successfully runs a fully functioning farm and acts as an entrepreneur distributing her products. Also, she competed in pageants and was crowned Mrs. American while pregnant with her eighth child. Of course, Neeleman does have access to an abundance of financial resources and also hires help to maintain the farm and tutor her children, but nonetheless, even in her very traditional marriage, Neeleman still pursues goals outside of motherhood. 

On the other hand, my cousin has never wanted to be married or have children, and desires to work full-time and enjoy nights out with her friends and being an aunt. I have friends who want to retire early so that they can focus completely on their family, and that's okay too. My mom works part-time as a NICU nurse, and cares for her six children on her days off. I hope to be a wife and mother, ideally homeschooling my children, but I also intend to keep writing, pursue graduate education, and hopefully become a college professor. Every time someone has suggested I quit my education or give up on my dream job in order to become a mother, I wonder why it is that so many people believe women can't have the best of both worlds. 

To be fair, we are all human with limited time and limited ability. I cannot give full attention to my children and also work 60 hours a week as a lawyer. Brett Cooper recently cancelled her tour because she recognized that she didn't want to leave her son for that long. However, all of life is made up of sacrifices and divisions of time, and women can successfully balance kids and career so long as they acknowledge the reality that neither will have their complete attention. God has given women the ability to bring children into the world, but he has also given them the abilities to paint and act and sing and analyze and calculate and write and design and market. Motherhood does not decimate a career. 

Every person has a path set in place by God. Sometimes, that path includes marriage. Sometimes it does not. Neither of those is wrong, so long as we are continuing to uplift the bride of Christ. Sometimes, our paths include raising children. Sometimes they do not. Neither of those is sinful, so long as we are loving God's children rightly. Sometimes our paths include building a career. Other times they do not. Neither of those is wrong, so long as we are building up the Kingdom. None of these puzzle pieces necessarily excludes another. They can function in collaboration, and women should not be discouraged from pursuing their goals simply because they also want to have children. You cannot give complete and total attention to every aspect of life, but women should be reminded that motherhood and career are not mutually exclusive. Should they want to be a part of both, with hard work and a strong support system, it is completely possible.